


Choices

by thatnerdemryn



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Coda, Difficult Decisions, Episode: s01e07 Major Arcana, First Kiss, M/M, Vampire Turning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:27:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29585838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatnerdemryn/pseuds/thatnerdemryn
Summary: “Do youwantto become a vampire?” Raphael asked in return and to Simon’s surprise, he didn’t say no. Why didn’t he say no? He knew the next words that should have blurted from his mouth were, ‘Absolutely not, I’d be crazy to want that’.Instead, he asked, “Do I have a choice? Cause I’m really not good at making decisions.”
Relationships: Simon Lewis/Raphael Santiago
Comments: 8
Kudos: 46
Collections: 5 Years of Shadowhunters Coda Event





	Choices

**Author's Note:**

> Another coda fic for the [Malec Discord Server's](discord.gg/GY8jT4x) **5 Years of Shadowhunters** coda event!

Simon paced outside of the Hotel Dumort, staring at the bright red doors that seemed to taunt him with every passing second. Using the newly gained strength he hadn’t been able to control yet, he broke the lock that secured his future and pushed the heavy doors open. He wandered through the slightly familiar halls of the hotel, his spine tingling as if he was being watched, but the only sounds echoing through the emptiness were his light footsteps. 

“Hello?” Simon called, turning toward the room he remembered both fondly and sickeningly. “Anybody home?” He asked with a choked laugh, glancing around at the vast array of antiques littering the unique space. His eyes lingered on the smooth couch where he had sat with Camille. He could see blood stained into the fabric like an abstract painting of life and death. The fact the blood mostly likely belonged to him made his stomach lurch. 

“Simon?” Even though he recognized the voice, he let out an ungodly shriek and held his hands up protectively, knocking over one of the elaborate vases on the table. 

“I-- Shit, I’m sorry,” Simon apologized when he finally noticed Raphael. “You don't have a doorbell, so I-- let myself in?” He said noncommittally, already regretting his decision. 

“What are you doing here?” Raphael spat, his voice low as he reached out to circle his fingers around Simon’s wrist. It should have hurt more than it did, bruised the pale and thin skin, but Simon felt almost nothing and it  _ scared _ him. 

“I think I'm sick,” Simon whispered, holding onto Raphael just as tightly. “I need someone to tell me what's going on because it's ruining my life!” 

“Will you keep quiet!” Raphael warned. He tugged Simon close and placed a firm hand over his mouth, shoving him back through the hallway and into a room Simon had never seen before. When the door shut and locked, Simon glanced around. He shouldn’t have felt safe locked in a room with a vampire, but he did, and Raphael had proven he wasn’t as much of a threat as he could be. 

“Am I becoming a vampire?” Simon asked because he couldn’t hold it back anymore. He needed an answer and he thought Raphael would be the one to give it to him. 

“Yes and no,” Raphael sighed, sitting down on a leather chair and crossing his legs almost regally. 

Simon ran exasperated hands through his hair and groaned, “Are vampires always this cryptic?” Raphael stared at Simon consideringly, tilting his head to the side and narrowing his eyes as if searching for something that Simon couldn’t figure out. 

“Do you  _ want _ to become a vampire?” Raphael asked in return and to Simon’s surprise, he didn’t say no. Why didn’t he say no? He knew the next words that should have blurted from his mouth were, ‘Absolutely not, I’d be crazy to want that’. 

Instead, he asked, “Do I have a choice? Cause I’m really not good at making decisions.” 

“Unlike most of us, Simon, you  _ do _ have a choice,” Raphael responded easily, his gaze unrelenting as Simon chewed on his bottom lip anxiously. He looked back at Raphael who couldn’t have been more than 20 years old physically and wondered what his story was. Did he choose the undead or was his life taken from him in a fit of rage or passion or sorrow or monstrosity? 

He wondered if Raphael would be angry at him, too. If Simon did have a choice to become a vampire, would Raphael be disappointed if he took it? Would it be stupid or immature or dangerous to become stronger, faster, mightier,  _ better? _ Would it really be so bad to leave accounting behind and become whatever he wanted to be? Would he be able to stay with Raphael and finally have a chance at someone who might like him back?

Raphael was broody and had perfected an eye roll so full of annoyance, Simon was quite frankly impressed. He wore ridiculously fancy clothes and gelled his hair more than Simon did when he went through his emo phase in middle school, but there was still something about Raphael that he trusted and he wondered if living a forever life would be worth it if-- Simon shook that thought from his head as he sat on the chair opposite Raphael and closed his eyes. 

“Camille’s blood is running through your veins right now. She is manipulative and full of deceit and if you choose to become like one of us, you’ll be in her control forever,” Raphael said. He stood slowly, sauntering over to Simon like he owned the room and Simon leaned back as Raphael hovered over him, his hands resting on the arms of the chair Simon had settled in. 

“So my choice is to stay human or be Camille’s puppet?” Simon asked because with it displayed like that, the decision seemed pretty obvious. Raphael nodded and sighed like he was trying to solve some internal argument Simon wasn’t privy to. 

“You’re getting to me, Simon Lewis,” Raphael whispered and Simon could feel the ghost of his breath on his already chilled skin. Simon shifted, suddenly uncomfortable in his chair, and looked anywhere but Raphael’s golden eyes. He was about to make some sarcastic comment to ease the tension swirling inside of him when Raphael continued, “So, I’ll make you a deal.” 

“What kind of deal?” Simon muttered, unable to look away from Raphael any longer. 

“In a few hours, Camille’s blood will be drained from your system and you’ll be human again, just as you were before your little Shadowhunter friend pulled you into this life,” Raphael began and Simon already didn’t like the thought of being normal again. “I’ll give you a week. If you come back here before one week’s time, I’ll offer you my blood and the  _ choice _ to become what I am,” Raphael finished, backing away slowly. Simon reached out before he could get too far, holding onto his bicep firmly. 

“And if I don’t?” Simon asked, staring holes into the floor because he couldn’t look at Raphael once more. “Can I see you again?” 

Raphael took Simon’s chin delicately in his fingers and to Simon’s surprise, brushed their lips together lightly. It was barely a kiss, but it was one gentle motion that had Simon’s mind made up. Raphael’s eyes were beautiful when he gazed at Simon as he pulled away. They seemed to hold the future that Simon had always looked forward to and Simon knew that even if Raphael said he had a choice, he didn’t. He would be back before the week was over. 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to follow me on [Tumblr](https://thatnerdemilyj.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/thatnerdemilyj/) for chaotic content. 
> 
> If your looking to scream about Shadowhunters and don't know where to go, come join a super fun [Discord](https://discord.gg/5nBgEp8)!
> 
> Kudos make me smile and comments make me weep, so please leave them!


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